Players Refuse to Stand for National Anthem, Claim Too Stuffed from Thanksgiving Meal

Earlier in the NFL season, San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Colin Kaepernick went to extreme measures to raise awareness for his girl scout troop’s blood drive by sitting during the National Anthem. The cause has brought a lot of attention to Kaep, and motivated other league players to sit during our Nations Anthem. But now, players forced to play during Thanksgiving have begun to protest standing during the national anthem on Turkey day on account of being too full to get up.

Detroit Lions offensive lineman, and former ballerina, Geoff Schwartz has started a protest against rising for the national anthem, claiming that after his Thanksgiving meal he will be too tired to rise, and stuck in every football player’s favorite type of coma– a food coma. The protest has expanded over to other teams playing on Thanksgiving, including Washington Redskins’ defensive lineman, Ryan Kerrigan. Said Kerrigan, “Don’t get me wrong. I love our country. But you try standing after a hearty portion of sweet potato casserole.” Dallas Cowboy’s running back Ezekiel Elliott has additionally joined in on the protest, going a step further claiming he will not only sit during the anthem, but will be eating a whole turkey on the sideline while the anthem plays.

The league has yet to get involved in the player’s protests, but National Football League commissioner Roger Goodell has stated that all protesting players will be fined by being forced to sit at the kiddie table at Thanksgiving dinner, and will not be allowed to have dessert. Said Elliott in response, “He may take away my dessert, but one day I’ll be tall enough to reach the top of the counter, and then I’ll be the boss.”

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