Tony Romo buys new Spine while Black Friday shopping

For countless years, the Friday after Thanksgiving has prided itself as a day to sit back, digest your stuffing-filled, artery clogging meal from yesterday, and of course- go Black Friday shopping. That’s right, nothing says, “I can deal with Uncle Ken for another four hours so long as I can buy everything for 20 percent off at Wal-Mart tomorrow” like Black Friday. While for most, Black Friday shopping is as much as a tradition as your morning poop, recently benched Dallas Cowboy’s Quarterback Tony Romo, who has been suiting up on Turkey Day for the last twelve seasons, was finally able to experience the event first hand.

Romo took advantage of his time on the bench and off the stretcher by leaving Jerry-world early to pay a visit to his local mall for all the Black Friday festivities. “The mall is awesome. I’d never been to one before, but they got a bunch of clothes, benches to sit on, and Auntie Anne’s pretzels! I want to live here,” Said the excited Romo- while waiting in line for the mall carousel. At the end of Romo’s exciting mall adventures, the soon to be ex-Cowboy was seen walking to his Dodge CHARGER carrying a 60-inch Vizio smart TV for 30% off, a collection of miniature Pokemon toys for 40% off and two brand new spines on a BOGO deal.

Romo hopes that his new toys will keep him both entertained, as well as alive in the NFL. Unfortunately for Romo, no shops had Black Friday deals for “strong relations with Jerry Jones” or “the ability to make Dak Prescott bad” this year. We’ll all just have to see where Romo ends up once the season ends in February.

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