The Los Angeles Lakers are far from Black Mamba prowess as the current 11th seed among the Western Conference. However, their poor record hasn’t stopped the historically prominent Lakers from excessively celebrating and ending marriages along the way to a 12-22 record. The Lakers, led by 20-year-old D’Angelo Russell and 36-year-old coach Luke Walton, have acted brash so far in their 2017 season, and the big eye in the sky has paid close attention to it this holiday season— I’m talking about Santa Claus of course.
Following the Los Angeles Lakers 111-102 win against the rival Clippers on Christmas night, Kris Kringle made a special appearance to both team’s locker rooms after the game. Kingle, more excited than a make-a-wish child, expressed his fandom to players such as Meta World Peace, delivering the energetic forward a nozzle for his face to avoid any fights in the future. Along with the nice came the naughty, however, when it was D’Angelo’s turn for presents. Russell, who earlier in the year ended teammate Nick Young’s relationship with fiancé Iggy Azalea, was given coal by Santa himself. “Home wreckers don’t get presents,” said that disappointed Kringle, as he then proceeded to inject coal directly into Russell’s veins.
Marco Nunez, the team’s head athletic trainer, says Russell’s recovery time will be short, and the coal will only remain in his veins for the next 36 hours before the ice in his veins overtakes it. This is good news for the Lakers, who don’t play until the very end of December. Nunez went on to explain, “We’re lucky that Russell is the one dealing with this injury. If Luol Deng had been the one dealing with this, he would have turned to stone in six hours”.
While the injury will have no effect on the Laker’s upcoming games, it may at the very serve as a lesson to D’Angelo: don’t ever use Snapchat, and stop posting up for three’s if you aren’t going to make them. Merry Christmas.